The life of a Spanish girl

Every once or twice a week there is tears coming down my face. I cry, I laugh and I think but nothing seems to work…”Keep smiling” my voice says but my mind is saying “be sad.” Every once or twice a week I get tears coming down my face.
I cry, I laugh and I think but nothing seems to work…
“Keep smiling” my voice says
My mind is saying “be sad”
The sun is so bright but it’s like all I see is dark clouds making it hard to see.
They say “mind over matter”
But how? If your mind is being taken over a monster with no face and a voice to speak for yourself.
It’s like there’s no power over it to beat.
The body is working so hard but the brain is so tired and can’t stop overthinking, can’t stop counting, or stop daydreaming any time of the day and night.
How will this end? Will I make it out? Will this nightmare go away if it’s even a nightmare? How can it go away if the pills are the only thing I need? Nothing seems to work but still don’t want the easy way out. Fighting for your life with demons in your head.
Nobody knows, nobody understands, you show them links, YouTube, give information from web but they think it’s curable and it’s made up on the head. That’s easy to take control when they don’t realize it’s not you it’s then who have the control over you. The things they say: Nothing’s wrong they say, you’re overreacting, get over it, it’s all in your head, your dumb if you keep talking about the past, move on etc…
A normal brain can think what you want it to think but mentally ill ones take over your brain having no control over it even if you try…. Whatever your situation is. Guess what? I’m still here am I? So you can too. Keep fighting, keep moving and keep going. Good has plans for everyone even you.

Sincerely yours, Depression